Coming Right Up: The 7 Year Itch

Yep, it's upon us. Our seventh wedding anniversary is only a few months away. It came up the other day in a conversation with my mom and sister and my mom said, "oh, you know what that means- the seven year itch!" I could only laugh and say that I'd gotten it a year early and experienced the six year itch.

I've been familiar with the term nearly as long as I can remember. As a big Full House fan growing up they did a parody episode called "The Seven Month Itch," where Uncle Jesse had been living with and helping raise the girls only to crave his bad boy college life again. A completely understandable desire now that I'm an adult.

Then there is the famous movie, Marilyn Monroe and all. The wife and kids are shipped off for the summer and she moves in the building and naively tempts the man. And in case you haven't seen it or don't know, it's the one with the famous white dress scene. It's slow like older movies can be, but still quite good and entertaining.

My interpretation of the modern seven year itch has nothing to do with being tempted by another relationship, but has everything to do with an anxiety to just be free. Free from the responsibilities of marriage.

I have to admit, I have it pretty damn good. I think if people are in fact "meant for each other," then we are (although I personally don't believe in it). Still, I feel like we chose wisely and have reaped plenty of rewards for it.

So I have a great marriage.

But still.....

At six years I was grateful but feeling smothered. For no particular reason and definitely not by any cause of my husband. I just.... yearned for something that wasn't there. There really is no better way to describe it than an itch. I found myself easily annoyed and wanting to do whatever I wanted to do. I didn't even want to be in the presence of a marriage. I just felt like I was over it, although I would never, ever want it to end because deep down inside I knew this too would pass.

I have a few theories on why this happens. I think it's mostly because when you get married you are two individuals, very separate and distinct. But as time moves on your personalities, interests, beliefs, and characteristics blend together until you don't know which ones you brought to the table in the first place. It's almost like losing a sense of who you are, even though you may be a better person because of it. An itch.

In time, the itch relieved itself. It didn't take long and there wasn't any defining moment. It just left secretly in the night, the exact same way it had come.

Now that I know what it really feels like, I wonder if I was just getting a taste for the real one- the seven year. I mean, generations of people have surely used this term for a reason? There can't be a mistake on the timing? If so, I'm definitely in for it.

I know every marriage has it's ups and downs. Even the strongest marriages. We happen to be going through a very rough patch right now. There is really no tangible reason for it, but there is a huge void and a large distance between us at the moment. It's a matter of life pulling us in two different directions and living separate lives together. Everything demanding our time at the moment is consuming on both parts and none of the reasons overlap. Thus we both spend all our efforts in fixing these things and have none left for each other. It's rough.

The reason I mention it is because it's lonely and desperate- definitely for me, and surely for him. I know we're gonna get through it, but right now there's no time for damage control and there isn't any time in the foreseeable future. So instead of patching up the leaks, they just get bigger as the rain keeps coming. I'm just not sure we could handle an itch on top of it all.

But.....

We have three months. And I know for a fact that at least the sun will be shining by then, and that is reason enough for me to wait it out.