You don't have to state the obvious.

A while back my friend Melissa moved to a new city and was essentially starting a new life after school and what not.  It was a lot of big changes all at once and she claimed that it was always what she wanted to do.  Still, those close to her could see the tide of uncertainty in her eyes.  I knew she would be just fine.  After all, I've been through many a transition of that nature and there's always an adjustment period.  It was clear to see that Melissa was going through this, but she felt it necessary to "prove" to everyone that she was living her dream by stating "I am so happy.  I am just so happy here!"

Part of this was a good thing- it was obvious that she wanted to be happy there and that it would eventually come.  The bad part was how unconvincing it was- if she were really happy in the moment then she wouldn't have to make the statement over and over again.  Literally, she said it to me and my husband five times during one meal.  When mutual friends had seen her they'd say to me, "Melissa seems good.  She seems happy," and I'd immediately counter with, "Yes, I'm sure she told you just that."

The happily ever after for Melissa is that she has now been living there for about three years.  She never talks about how happy she is anymore because it is so apparent.  She's in a good place and she doesn't feel the need to convince anyone of it.

I can't say I've never had this problem.  The biggest that comes to mind is that I'm famous for being on my death bed and telling every one who sees me, "I'm reeeeaaaaaallly sick."  Duh.

I'm working on it.

Lately my friend Britney has me pondering this idea because she keeps stating things that are so obviously not true, but no doubt she wants them to be.

Examples?

"I'm more secure with myself the longer I'm married."
"I honestly don't care what my mother-in-law thinks."
"I don't really need friends.  I'm just not in that stage of life."

It's not the statements themselves that raise a red flag, but rather her contradictory actions and the repetition.  I mean, if she were so overly confident, would we not see that?  If she were not concerned about her mother-in-law wouldn't we see that?    If she didn't need friends, wouldn't she stop trying so hard?

It just goes to prove that the most obvious statement you can make is through your actions.  These words seem like a desperate plea to be something you're not, and in most cases, the exact opposite of what you are.