Far Off Places

So, here's the thing- I have a restless soul.

Lately the hubby and I have been casually talking about moving to Australia as "Our Next BIG Adventure!" The more I think about it, the more I like the idea.

I've always wanted to live outside of the country. Serving a mission didn't help cross that off the checklist, like it does so many LDS people. I've had friends that have lived elsewhere and loved it and I just can't seem to get that out of my head.

I used to think life would be so simply laid out and goals easy to envision. Turns out none of that is true. Life is a lot different than I imagined it and mostly in good, but still surprising, ways. Like Molly Shannon says in Serendipity, "Life is choas, personified." Couldn't agree more.

It breaks my heart when people that I know just settle in and head full force into the rest of their lives (imagine Morgan Freeman's voice). And where I grew up they start this at such a young age. The typical road map- get married, have babies, and hopefully buy a house near the grandparents. Blah. I need a little more adventure than that! I realize that there are many people who are fine with their lives being this way and some that probably wish it was. Not I. Since life is crazy anyways, I say we turn it upside down voluntarily. Let us embrace the unexpected and the unfamiliar!

I suddenly am having these images of vacationing in the outback, picnicking near the Great Barrier Reef, celebrating Christmas in the summer, watching my toilet flush "backwards," teaching my kids to sing Waltzing Matilda, eating chocolate bilbies and vegemites, attending cultural events at the Sydney Opera House, playing boomerang in the park, and driving on the "wrong" side of the road.

Aaaah. That sounds like a great life to me. Now only if Australia had their own Disneyland... the biggest drawback for me, because I am definitely NOT raising my children with no Disneyland.

When the Hubby is Away

My husband and I spend a fair amount of time apart. Not always by choice. His job is always taking him here or there and I am very lucky to be able to go with him often. I also am lucky that he supports me in going on trips with girlfriends or family, and I like to take advantage of that. We are pretty independent and I feel really trusting (maybe even overly trusting) of him. I think the time apart is really healthy for our marriage. Neither one of us feels like we can't pursue personal interests and even though we miss each other like mad, we always come home to someone who loves us and that is really nice to have. It's one of the only things that I feel like keeps me being me.

When I'm not the one leaving it's a little bit harder. I am a good self starter and great at keeping myself occupied. I am somewhat of a loner mixed with a little bit of homebody so I kind of like to have a few days to just recharge. I miss having company, but it's nice to have "me" time.

Still, there are some downsides. Hubby is the cook, therefore I find myself hungry a lot more frequently. I rarely watch tv because he's always the one with the remote (I know that seems silly, but it's just a weird habit I've gotten into). The cleaning is not very consuming because it actually stays clean. The worst part about all of it is not being able to sleep at night.

There's something about a man sleeping next to you that makes you feel safe. Although I am sure that if something happened, he would be equally freaked out. Even when he's not actually in bed with me, it's comforting just to know he's there. When he's gone I will keep myself up as long as I possibly can to keep myself from lying in bed awake and imagining all the things that could go wrong. It's an exhausting routine I create for myself, but I'm not really sure how to change it. It really is no fun. He's been gone for over a week and although having company has helped, I am so ready for a good night's sleep again.

The Thing About Friends

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

I had the privilege of having my best friend from high school, Annie, visit me this past weekend. I am embarrassed to say that we haven't had one on one time for about seven years or even longer. I have been married for almost 6 years and she for almost 4. We have always lived in different places, but I still am sad that we haven't found more quality time to spend together.

There's something so comfortable about an old friend. Like a favorite pair of old shoes, you love the way they fit you and you remember all the places they've taken you. Annie is just like that. I just adore the fact that I can say or behave any way around her and it doesn't matter because she really knows who I am deep down inside. I love that we can still walk around in our underwear and not care. I love that we can enjoy hours of conversation about things we've done together and the things that occupy us now. She is such a breath of fresh air to me and a reminder of the best times in the past.

There's also something strange about an old friend. It's almost like you want to go back but at the same time are glad to have moved forward. Annie is a huge reminder of the person I was and how far I've come. She also is a huge part of the path that brought me to where I am, and for that I am so thankful. Still, there's this strange but satisfying gap between us knowing that we grew together for so long and still have managed to stay true to ourselves individually.

There's also this strange realization that multiple someone's have filled those best friend shoes at different times in my life and the same is true for her. It's even more strange to think that some of my best friends don't even know my best friends! Still, I am glad to have the best friend I have now and plan on keeping him for a long while.

True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. ~Dave Tyson Gentry

Jet Setter

My Grandma once told me that she was missing one of her children and didn't know where they had gone. She came home to find a note on the counter that read, "Went to Mike's for the weekend. See you Sunday night." She was furious. No one had asked for her consent and all she got was a measly little note. She threw her desire for bad karma at her kids by saying, "I hope someday your children leave you a note saying, 'Gone to Paris for the weekend. See you Sunday night.' "

Well, I don't think it's exactly come to that yet, but I can't say that it's that far off either. It's pretty simple to pick up and go. Sure, I traveled a lot with my family growing up, but I still remember the excitement of buying my first airline ticket- by myself. I thought, "Should I call my mom and tell her? Why? I'm an adult. I'm paying for it." So I didn't. I just went to New York for a few days thus concreting my independence.

A few years ago my husband and I decided to go to the island of Grenada at the last minute. Since it was out of the country I thought maybe we should have some sort of emergency contact or something. I said to him, "Did you tell your parents we were leaving the country?" to which he responded, "Babe, we're married. We can do whatever we want!" It was funny because I didn't mean it in the way that he should be reporting to them, but it did make me think of many of the perks of being a grown up.

Who knows, maybe OUR kids will leave us notes while they're off galavanting in Paris for the weekend. As long as they pay for it themselves and have a great time, no harm done. They just better be 18 first:)

Goody Two Shoes

I am a type "a" personality. I always have been. I like things nice, neat, and organized. I like to have a fair set of rules laid out so that I can follow them to the letter. I like to make lists. I like to clean. I like to make plans- day plans, month plans, year plans, and especially life plans. I've always been this way.

As a kid I was the one who did whatever the teacher told me to do. I'm sure I expressed a little more attitude at home, but as the oldest I was still the responsible one, the example setter. I had a friend in elementary school who was a "free spirit" - aka the opposite of what I was. I remember she used to wander the halls at recess, as we were strictly forbidden to do, and only occasionally got caught. I even remember watching her a few times through the outside glass window on the door. When she did get caught, a teacher would just give a slight scolding and send her back outside. No big deal, right? Wrong. Public humiliation was never an option for me. Sure I could generally hold it together, but I would cry and assume unfathomable amounts of guilt once I had a minute to myself.

I'm not sure how I became this way, but it has generally stuck with me. I still like to make rules, just so people know what to expect. I like to keep things organized. I don't get out of line, I raise my hand instead of talking out of turn, and I always act responsibly. I guess I'm like a lifetime hall monitor or something.

I think I'm proud of that. I do feel overly cautious most of the time and I may miss out on a few wild adventures, but I'm always aware of it thanks to marrying the devil's advocate. He's always trying to get me to loosen up and "live a little." I suppose it's just what I need. I got nervous sneaking drinks into the movie theatre last week because I knew it "wasn't allowed." But in all fairness, I was sick and needed Gatorade (whew, at least I can justify it). I don't know why but I am always such a stick in the mud.