5 Things I am Looking Forward to....

In no particular order.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios Islands of Adventure in Orlando, FL. I can't wait to have a butterbeer with my lunch at the Three Broomsticks, stock up on candy from Honeydukes, get a custom wand for myself at Ollivanders, and check out the newest ride- Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey- in Hogwarts Castle. Hogwarts is actually what I am most excited for. I've always wished that the setting actually existed and this will have to be close enough. I love that magic boy! Check out more HERE.

For my hubby to graduate college. We're aiming for December and for the first time I'm feeling like it might actually happen. He's really been working hard and I couldn't be more proud. The first day of the rest of our lives couldn't come any sooner!

THE DISNEY DREAM (insert heart warming music). I cried this morning thinking about how badly I want to go on this cruise ship! I've been on the Disney Wonder a number of times (still never the Disney Magic), but I am SO thankful that they are putting this ship in the Bahamas/Carribean so that I may actually have a chance to go on it someday. It's maiden voyage takes place a year from right now, but I'm sure it will be A WHILE before I can afford to go on it. Still, something to very much- and I mean VERY MUCH- look forward to. Check out more HERE.

The Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics! Stock up on snacks and drinks because this is the best reason to stay in and watch tv all day- for about a month. I LOVE the Olympics! I got to be part of it when they were in Salt Lake 2002 and even though I've always enjoyed it, I get totally immersed in it now. Especially the winter games. I couldn't be more excited!

My girls trip to Vegas this upcoming weekend! Vegas is kind of *blah* in my book, but there's a hell of a lot more to do there than there is where I live. Plus, I have really been lacking of some good gal pal time and that is the real reason for my excitement. A little R&R with some girl talk, shopping, spa time, show seeing, etc., sounds like just the ticket.

The Flu.

Yuck. The flu is disgusting. I haven't had it for about 8 years (or maybe even longer), but I caught it this week and it was bad.

As if the stomach churning and violent vomiting were not enough, it's really the sweating and after shakes that get me. The dry heaving and the hot/cold changes are bad too.

Basically, it all sucks. Rest assured that I will never be bulimic.

When Dreams meet Reality

Last night I had one of those dreams. You know the ones where facts and fiction collide and you're not sure which is which anymore? Those types of dreams become so emotional and you wake up feeling torn between the person you were when you fell asleep and the person you are this morning.

I'm sure I have been having these types of dreams all my life. I have memories from my childhood that I'm not sure are really memories at all. But then again, the emotion I feel about them is so real. It's baffling really. What is the universe trying to convince me of anyway?

I remember having a dream in high school that involved my sister. I don't remember much about it but I remember being really pissed off and leaving for school without giving her a ride. That didn't go over well with my mom or with my sister.

I've sat over breakfast glaring at my husband for something I am mad at him about but that never really happened. He'll remind me that those things aren't real and it's still amazing sometimes how long it can take to overcome that feeling. They aren't always angry feelings either. I had the dream where my mom dies and couldn't feel good until I'd actually spoken to her- I'm sure a lot of us have experienced that one.

Anyway, it's weird the effect that these dreams have on us. I'm not really sure what we're supposed to learn from it all. Maybe it's some form of what might have been, or what could be. Maybe it reveals our fears or our hopes... or our regrets. And even though the events of the dreams may not be real, the emotions definitely are and I think it can be intimidating learning certain things about yourself that you never realized before.

Small Town Frown

From now until the end of time humanity will be split between the city life and life in the "country" (or what we have left of it).

I've lived in the suburbs basically my entire life, with a few months here and there in city settings. My dad took me to New York when I was 18. It was my second time there, but the first time I had visited there was so much anticipation and even, perhaps, a little fear. That was washed away within an hour as the city pulled me and my sister in and we were imagining our lives on Park Ave ten years down the road. We were in love. I have craved the city ever since. My dad, however, said to me on this trip that he "understood people craving city life, but couldn't relate to it at all." Oh dad, I guess that's where the gene pool ends.

I love big cities! Specifically, but not limited to, New York City. I love the rush of people going in all directions, I love to sit and people watch, I love having access to all kinds of entertainment, parks, museums, and arts, I love the varieties of shopping, and don't even get me started on how much I love the food- the diversity, the ability to try something new every day, and having access to any of it even at 2am sometimes. I am so cut out for city life.

I can appreciate having a garage attached to the house. That is truly heavenly. I can appreciate having a yard, even though it can be a pain. I can appreciate running into people you know at the grocery store (although I don't always love that). There are things I can truly appreciate about living in the suburbs and in a fairly small town. I grew up in just a place. It was charming and simple. There was a type of camaraderie that you can't find in a lot of places in today's world. In summary, it was a great place to grow up.

I guess the problem is that I did grow up. At some point I realized that I didn't want to marry someone that attended my high school. I didn't want my whole ward to consist of 3 blocks. I didn't want to raise my kids in a place where they had discouraged me from wanting to leave. I didn't want to have to track down open businesses on a Sunday. I didn't want everyone that I ever knew to remember me as the girl I was in high school. I no longer wanted to live in a place where I felt people had become so much alike.

The world has proved wondrous in every way and every day I only wish I have seen more. This really is a personal preference and I understand that. My sister lives the exact opposite and it has proved very beneficial for her. She married someone from our high school. She lives in the same town, etc. etc.

All I know is that it's not for me! I want to live in a place that's exciting. Somewhere where I can meet new people every day and be different without feeling out of place. A place where I can see something new every single day. We have been living in a small town (by my standards) for about 2 months and it is already beginning to feel suffocating. The biggest city is 2 hours away and it feels SO far away. I guess I was just meant for something a little more complex.

Left Behind

I was the oldest child in my family growing up. My mom tells about when I started first grade and I was in school all day instead of half day. Her and my two younger sisters came to pick me up at the bus stop my first day after school. One of them had a Happy Meal toy from McDonald's and it must have upset me because my mom said I burst into tears and sobbed, "You went to McDonald's without me?!" She said she felt kind of bad. After all, it was a special occasion to go to McDonald's with our neighbors across the street for lunch and one I looked forward to. We usually went to Hardee's because McDonald's was "too expensive" for us back then, so we really knew that it was a splurge. But then my mom said she realized that missing out on some things was just part of growing up. She realized it was impractical for her to wait for me to be around to do any kind of fun activity. She said, "sometimes you'll just have to miss out."

Ouch. I guess that must have been my first dose of reality and boy how it must have sucked. Although I don't remember this event with perfect clarity, I have thought about it frequently. In some ways this story has helped and in others it just continues to remind me of how unfair life can be.

A good example:

I moved away from home right after high school. I didn't just move a few hours away, I moved ALL the way across the country. It was thrilling and challenging and everything I hoped it would be. I was literally having the time of my life, but it was hard in the beginning when there would be a cousin getting married or a baby shower or something else. There was always talk about what I would and wouldn't be able to fly home for (which wasn't much). All the traditional things we attended growing up were now out of my reach- my family was going to McDonald's without me. Then I realized that I wasn't really missing out. I loved where I was and I was having a lot more fun than I could have had living near my parents. The price for that came with missing out on some things and it actually was okay. Nowadays I have grown up siblings that miss out too, so it's not even a big deal anymore. It is what it is. That was my realization that there is something better out there than McDonalds (big breakthrough)!

Two bad examples:

I imagine my heartbroken self standing there without my Happy Meal toy at age 6 and can't help but know that I have felt that exact same way. I can think of 2 blaring examples.

I was 21. I had a job that I loved and that is an understatement. My contract at that job was nearly up and although I had the opportunity to extend, LIFE was calling. I had such an internal battle over this one and to this day it continues to be the do-over I'd take. Anyway, I packed up my car and as we pulled out that last morning my mom said, "Isn't it weird to think that someone is up this morning doing your job?" Thanks mom. I was totally replaceable! I hated feeling that way. It made me feel so un-special. So expendable. So worthless. Life was once again going on without me- it made no difference whether I participated or not. That was truly awful.

The second is very recent. After struggling with being a student trying to finish school so that I could move on with life, then being a young married, childless woman trying to find a place to fit in- I had finally found a home. In our last house I felt comfortable and grateful and surrounded by good friends and company regardless of differing circumstances. Then LIFE happened again, keeping us on our toes, losing a job, losing our house, and moving us to another city. It's lonely, but that's okay- nothing we haven't managed before. The hurtful part is how life back at the old place goes on without us. Sometimes it feels as though we were temporary observers in that world. Sometimes I feel like we weren't really there because they don't really need us. And the truth is that they don't.

So, I guess the underlying problem in me is that I want to feel like I belong, like I am special, like life is better when I am around, and that someone somewhere actually needs me. Not in an arrogant way- just in a wanting to belong way. I guess I haven't found that yet....

Feeling Sexy

I love Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. That's a pretty tough one to tackle, but I really like this ad they put out:

The thing is- it's hard to be a woman in today's world!

I want to feel and look like the women I see on tv. They don't make it seem impractical and yet for so many women it really is.

Being sexy is so much more than a look. It has so much more to do with a feeling. I don't think men ever understand this. I don't think my husband understands it at all. Even the slightest flaw will keep me in the house so I don't have to be seen in public, or even more often, out of bed- if you know what I mean.

It's a miracle what shaving your legs, freshly brushed teeth, a little blush, and perhaps a push up bra can do for a girl. Still, we constantly judge one another for every little flaw and generally the ones we hate, or would hate, to see most in ourselves.

My friend Candice has a scrawny little 7 year old girl who will undoubtedly grow to be a natural beauty just like her mom- probably even prettier- and she came home from school not so long ago complaining about her fear of being fat. Honestly, the girl can't be more than 50 lbs.

It scares me to death. It's probably the scariest thing I can consider about having a daughter someday. I think the part that makes it scary is not the issue itself, but how we as adults have very little grasp on it ourselves. I don't know any women who can't name multiple things they'd like to change about themselves. I am definitely amongst them. It really is frightening.

Movies I Love

I love movies, but I don't love all movies. I hate wasting my time seeing a movie I dislike, but there is nothing better than seeing a great movie in the theatre for the first time. I've tried to compile a list of movies I love without thinking too hard. I've just included the ones that came to me quickly. There are thousands more movies that I enjoy but these ones I can watch over and over and over and over.... well, you get the point. I can never get enough. In my life, these are classics. Oh, and I am a girl in case you haven't picked up on that, so this list will probably be detested by most men- just a heads up.

I love musicals! From Camelot to High School Musical, I enjoy almost all of them. My husband despises them on the other hand. However, my dad quite enjoys them and we watched a number of them growing up. While Camelot is highly underrated and hilarious, there is no musical as classic as The Sound of Music. When my family was in Austria about 9 years ago we took a Sound of Music tour and it was a HUGE highlight of the trip! I loved soaking it all in and picturing all the Vontraps romping through Salzburg practicing their harmony. It was sublime.

In addition to John Lasseter being one of my heroes and most amazing people on the planet, who doesn't love a Pixar film? They are funny and heartfelt, good stories that are well thought out and creative, and the technology just keeps getting better. This was pretty hard to narrow down since every Pixar film exceeds all expectations. From Monsters, Cars, Nemo, Wall-E, Up and others, I've settled on Toy Story and Toy Story 2 equally. I don't think they are the best made Pixar movies, but I think they are the most endearing and I feel a greater connection with the characters in these movies more than the others. I remember seeing them in the theatre for the first time (I saw Toy Story 2 twice and on my 18th birthday). Plus I love toys! I really have a thing for toys, so this is right up my alley. I am SUPER excited for Toy Story 3 this summer!

Kind of an obscure film, but I love the idea of That Thing You Do. It's always a must take on our family Lake Powell trips and it just has some great subtle humor. I love the retro simplicity of it as well. It feels like it was filmed on a set where everyone was pals and shared a pizza together each night. I just enjoy it and again with the music- awesome.

An oldie (if you are my age), but goody. My dad LOVED this movie when it first came out and it seemed like every time he babysat us this was one that both dad and the kids could put up with and enjoy. So, we basically grew up on this one. I love all the cheesy lines and the predictable plot lines. It just brings back so many good memories.

This is a for real love. This movie is incredible. It may be my number one favorite of all time. When it first came out I watched it over and over again and had every scene and every line memorized. The music is great, the historical events are fascinating and Forrest Gump is just a great character. It's such a great life movie. The artistic detail is amazing.

When I first saw this movie I didn't expect much. I didn't even know if I'd like it and I walked out pleasantly surprised. The wit, the humor, the relationship between the two characters is awesome. Hugh Grant = hilarious. It's a chick flick but a good compromise for me and the hubby. Whenever we can't agree on a movie this becomes our back up. It's made it's way into the DVD player many a night and it never disappoints.

Anyone who knows me knows I love ANY Disney movie. I am the biggest Disney advocate and have endless knowledge about Disney movies and characters. There are countless Disney films that I could include on my list, but my all time favorite EVER is The Little Mermaid. I saw it in the theatre for the first time for my 8th birthday and we watched it twice- yes, in a row. Ever since that moment I have wanted desperately to be a mermaid. Even still. The Lion King is great, Snow White is forever a classic, Hercules is my favorite underrated Disney film, and there are countless others, but there is something so appealing about the adventures that take place under the sea.

Here I am revealing my "old soul." I love Sleepless in Seattle. Once I saw An Affair to Remember I even loved it more. It is kind of sad, but sweet and sensitive. I am not always in the mood for this type of movie, but I like to watch it once a year or so. I still hope that love like that exists in the world and the depth of the romance is so pure.

This is my comedic addition to the list. I am not an outside laugher, I mainly laugh to myself on the inside, but this movie cracks me up! Plus Ryan Reynolds is so dreamy. We have watched this hundreds of times and we recommend it to everyone that's never seen it. You definitely don't want the kids in the room while you're watching, but it is hysterical!

I think I saw this movie in the theaters more times than any other movie- 5 times! Holy moly. It is so dang funny and such a chick flick. I think I would call it the ultimate chick flick. Every woman I've ever talked to about it LOVES it. I can't even pinpoint the charming behind it, but you definitely walk away feeling that way. Adorable.

This is right up there with Forrest Gump. I love Annie. She is so cute and I always wanted to grow up to be just like her. I love the relationship she has with her dad, I feel like it's so similar to my relationship with my dad. It makes me love Steve Martin. When they are playing basketball in the snow the night before the wedding, I cry almost every time. I just adore everything about this movie and always will.

Back to Disney movies I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. Giselle is the perfect addition or spoof on the Disney princess and I just eat it all up. I quote this movie all the time and love going to New York and thinking about all the fun scenes. There just really are no words....

Ok, so this is where I reveal my super lame side. My mom was a HUGE Karen Carpenter fan growing up. She went to one of her concerts and got to sing on stage with a bunch of other kids. My parents recorded The Karen Carpenter Story off of tv when I was 8. My mom made us watch it and we just kept watching it all the time. What kind of kid does that? It's about this famous singer who has anorexia, a troubled life, and then dies in the end. Still, I love Karen Carpenter and all her music and for some reason find this story touching. I try to watch it once a year and have loved it since I was just a little kid.

A random and ridiculous but highly entertaining chick flick. Again, I have never encountered a woman who doesn't love this show. Plus Kate Beckinsale is one of the few people that I aspire to look like- I love her. People flock to the Serendipity restaurant in New York based on having seen this movie, regardless of it's appearance in a number of other films. I've been there many a time. This movie is just so enjoyable.

Anyone who has seen Casablanca and doesn't LOVE it is crazy. It is an excellent film. One of the best films of all time and definitely one of the most famous. Sometimes, in my opinion, that doesn't necessarily mean it's great, but this one exceeds all praise. It is an incredible, intense, and fascinating movie. It involves you so deeply in it's story. It is fantastic and that hardly explains how good it really is.

So, while there are more movies that I love, those are the cream of the crop. I used to work on a ride at Disney World called The Great Movie Ride that features, yep, movies. Me and the hubby plan to work through the 142 movies featured on the ride this year, so maybe I'll find some new favorites? I guess we'll see.

Candy Fiend!

I LOVE candy! Love it. I love chocolate and gummies and everything in between. I actually love any kind of sugar (cookies mentioned earlier). Candy is so good! I hide candy all over our house so that my husband doesn't find it and I can eat it later. I always think it's funny when he finds it and acts surprised. Like last night when he found candy in my nightstand- yeah? what of it? We've been married long enough for him to expect that so it just makes me laugh. Christmas brings out some annual tasty treats that I crave throughout the year, but I am most excited for Valentine's candy! Mmmm... it's so yummy! Plus all those heart shaped treats remind me how much I love it and make me feel like it's loving me back.

I also look forward to Little Debbie's delectable treats. So disgusting and yet so satisfying.

Bring on the love!