Sunday, August 8, 2010

Getting Married Young


I'm pushing 30. Yeah, I said it. And no one can convince me that I'm "not that old." I know it's a big one coming up and to be quite frank, it scares me. I feel like I was just in high school..... that was just barely, wasn't it?

Now, I've been married for 6 years. You can't even count that on one hand. Now as all my "older" single friends are buying rings and tying the knot, I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Suddenly, all the friends we pitied and thought might never find "the one" have done it! And all on their own terms.

I don't regret getting married. I don't. If there is one thing that's been good for me in this life, it's my husband. But, I can't shirk the feeling that we were SOOO young and what did we know anyway? Nothing. That's exactly what we knew.

Being Mormon, the pressure was on at age 22. Especially from my mother and heaven forbid you turn 25 and not be married! Luckily, I found a good one at the time, but what if I hadn't? Let's see.... I would have eventually told my mother off, traveled the world, and squeezed in some extra school! All to get married happily just a few short years later and still with plenty of time to spare:)

I guess a lot of babies who get married have babies. My sister and bestie are prime examples. They are 26 and 28 respectively with 3 little ones each at home. But, I don't- so here I am pushing 30 with really nothing more to show for it than my single friends who are just now getting married.

I guess I also feel guilty because the hubby really never did all those things. I feel like I stole that time away from him even though he consistently tries to convince me that that's the way he'd have it anyway. I'm not so sure. I think it's definitely brought some challenges into our marriage.

I am glad for the time we've had to grow together.... but sometimes I just wonder what it would be like to have waited a little bit longer.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I'm not a phone person


Yeahhhhh.....

I just don't like to talk on the phone. That's it. It's pretty simple.

True I've been known to carry hour long phone conversations in the past, but they really are rare. And they usually occur with a handful of the same people. My mother being one and half the time I'm trying to get off the phone with her.

I like to have a good conversation, but it takes a lot for me to pick up and call someone. The hubby is bothering me about this all the time. He says I'm gonna lose all my friends and deserve to if I don't pick up the phone once in a while. I'm just not really that comfortable with it. I'd much rather see people face to face, although I realize that's not usually possible.

The second half of my phone phobia is not picking up the phone. Sometimes I just don't feel like chatting. It's nothing against anyone personally. It's just the weirdness inside me. Especially if it's a number I don't recognize. Why? I never answer those!

I must say that I definitely don't like to pick up the phone when I am spending my time with other people. I think the people I am with deserve to be with me. I generally try to turn my phone off or just not answer it if I am in the middle of something. I think part of the reason is because my hubby always answers the phone. I get it sometimes because I know he has to take work calls most of the time. But then it just grows exponentially from there. I guess after too many occasions wishing he was spending the time with me instead of on the phone has really pestered me all these years. If I were single, I would die if a man answered his phone on a date! In rare instances it might be ok, but only for brief conversations lasting less than 2 min tops.

Then there's the way people talk on the phone- sometimes as if no one else can hear them! It's amazing what you can overhear, and let's be honest, I'm just a pretty private person. I don't want random strangers or even other friends or family listening in on all my conversations.

Cell phones can be great, but they really only make the problem worse. So to any friends out there- call me! I may answer, but if I don't it's nothing personal. And I'm sorry I don't call you. It's just the way I am.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Making "Plans"

So, I'm a type A personality, no doubt. I like to think about things for a long time and plan them out in advance. I like to make all kinds of plans- day plans, weekend plans, year plans, life plans. It's just who I am. But, the thing about making plans is that they never really turn out!

I stay pretty flexible when the plan changes and in the past few years I've even ventured to embark into unplanned territory and just try my hand at going with the flow. It's been nice to just GO. Still, I never seem to accomplish much without a plan, so I still much prefer having one.

Recently, no plans really seem to work out. So my new plan is to have no plan. Can you plan to have no plan? I don't know, but I'm doing it anyway.