
I'm pushing 30. Yeah, I said it. And no one can convince me that I'm "not that old." I know it's a big one coming up and to be quite frank, it scares me. I feel like I was just in high school..... that was just barely, wasn't it?
Now, I've been married for 6 years. You can't even count that on one hand. Now as all my "older" single friends are buying rings and tying the knot, I can't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. Suddenly, all the friends we pitied and thought might never find "the one" have done it! And all on their own terms.
I don't regret getting married. I don't. If there is one thing that's been good for me in this life, it's my husband. But, I can't shirk the feeling that we were SOOO young and what did we know anyway? Nothing. That's exactly what we knew.
Being Mormon, the pressure was on at age 22. Especially from my mother and heaven forbid you turn 25 and not be married! Luckily, I found a good one at the time, but what if I hadn't? Let's see.... I would have eventually told my mother off, traveled the world, and squeezed in some extra school! All to get married happily just a few short years later and still with plenty of time to spare:)
I guess a lot of babies who get married have babies. My sister and bestie are prime examples. They are 26 and 28 respectively with 3 little ones each at home. But, I don't- so here I am pushing 30 with really nothing more to show for it than my single friends who are just now getting married.
I guess I also feel guilty because the hubby really never did all those things. I feel like I stole that time away from him even though he consistently tries to convince me that that's the way he'd have it anyway. I'm not so sure. I think it's definitely brought some challenges into our marriage.
I am glad for the time we've had to grow together.... but sometimes I just wonder what it would be like to have waited a little bit longer.
