After spending the summer out east with one of my favorite cities, I can't help but think how our relationship has grown over the years. Some places are just places, but I truly believe that others grow with the same kind of dynamics as human relationships. Perhaps they are just internal realizations as we change through the years. Whatever the reason, New York is one of those places for me.
This one started early. I was just a young child when I remember asking my mom, "Why is everything in New York?" This was in the days before the internet and any contest you entered or correspondence was through snail mail to New York. She told me it was because a lot of companies were based there, and while I didn't understand quite what that meant at the time, I knew I wanted to go there.
When I was nine my parents took a trip to New York. It wasn't their first but they didn't make a habit of going. I was thrilled for them and when they returned we asked anxiously what it was like to which they responded, "Eh. If I get back there in the next ten years that might be too soon." This was in 1991 during the pre-Juliani, Ninja Turtles in the subway, violence and prostitute laden years.
However, they did return and only seven years later with the whole family. I was sixteen at the time and while I was still burdened by high school life, I knew that in a few short years the world was mine. My parents had instilled a proper fear in us before we arrived so as not to lose any of us and be on our guard. We were driving into the city from upstate New York and as we pulled into Manhattan I was wide eyed and amazed. It was just like the movies! It was honestly like nothing I had ever seen before in my life. Growing up in Salt Lake, Vegas and Los Angeles were the biggest cities I had really ever seen. The scale of it was so much bigger than I had imagined and I just wanted to take it all in. We checked into the Marriott Marquis in Times Square and I remember thinking how small our rooms were- in such a big city! Makes perfect sense to me now. We walked out late that night to have dinner, all of us cautiously holding hands and being nervous about the late night company on the streets.
The next morning everything changed. By the time we were having lunch we had stopped holding hands and started getting a little more comfortable. We did the sight seeing thing and had the greatest time ever. My sister and I still talk about that trip and all the shenanigans that took place. I remember the first time I said to myself, "I want to live here. I have to live here!"
I told everyone I knew that New York was the greatest place ever. The city had been very much cleaned up and was quite charming. The summer after high school my dad had work there and took me with him. We had a great time staying at the World Trade Center Marriott (lost only a short year later), and seeing the sights. On the days he had to work he'd say "Have fun, go find something interesting to do." By myself!? Yes, by myself, and that's the way I've enjoyed it most ever since. I didn't dare ride the subway by myself but I did a lot of walking and I loved exploring.
A year and a half later I was well into college. I had friends living there and planned to go whenever possible. I got comfortable using the subway on my own and got to experience New York in ways that I only hope to be able to again someday. While living in Florida I took advantage of the post September 11 cheap flights and went on numerous occasions.
The real kicker was my 21st birthday trip. With my two best friends in tow, and a handful of others meeting us there, I had the best vacation and birthday! It was everything I dreamed it would be, not to mention it was Christmas time which made it that much more magical. Up to that point it felt like New York and I had been dating and suddenly I was in love.
The first time I actually moved there I was approaching 22 and became a nanny for a family whom I love and adore. Every weekend was spent in the city (again Christmas time). I saw the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and spent New Year's Eve in Times Square. I was kind of a super tourist.
By the time I was married, we set out for our first summer in New York. We lived in Queens and my New York world expanded greatly. My husband's father was concerned that we'd be living there only to find out his last time visiting was in 1982. That was truly the summer I became more of a local than a tourist.
Since then, we have lived in or around the city a handful of times. I am always thrilled when it works out for us to go there. I had a friend living there not long ago and heard someone say to her, "I know it seems glamourous but I'm sure sometimes it's a real bear." So true. That is New York in summary.
There was a time (and still are times) when I could see myself living in an apartment and enjoying the amenities of the city forever. I wouldn't even have minded raising kids there. The city has so much to offer and I truly think that America only has three "cities": New York, Chicago, and San Francisco. Of which New York is clearly the superior. I remember my dad saying to me on our trip so many years ago, "I can understand how people crave the city living, but I surely can't relate to it." All I could think was a heartfelt, love struck, "I can."
I really feel like my love for the city peaked about four years ago. I just felt like we were marching to the same beat, almost like we belonged to each other, a perfect match. Now, I feel like it's a more comfortable marriage, we have our moments, but love each other just the same. Every time we move or say goodbye, my heart breaks just a little. It's like saying goodbye to a cherished friend that you always miss.
I have so many great, great memories that have taken place there. Many important life moments have occurred, friendships have been made, and experiences have been had. I look back and think that New York is such a big part of me and always will be. I'm so grateful for that and feel sad for those who have missed out.
I have my days where New York pisses me off. It stinks, it's crowded, it's cold, it's hot, it's hard to find a bathroom, the trash is lying on the street, etc. But the charm of the city will always surpass it's shortcomings. I hate to think that I might see the day where the city turns once again to it's crime infested past or will no longer be such an influential part of my life. Until then, I will soak in as much as I possibly can.
