Small Town Frown

From now until the end of time humanity will be split between the city life and life in the "country" (or what we have left of it).

I've lived in the suburbs basically my entire life, with a few months here and there in city settings. My dad took me to New York when I was 18. It was my second time there, but the first time I had visited there was so much anticipation and even, perhaps, a little fear. That was washed away within an hour as the city pulled me and my sister in and we were imagining our lives on Park Ave ten years down the road. We were in love. I have craved the city ever since. My dad, however, said to me on this trip that he "understood people craving city life, but couldn't relate to it at all." Oh dad, I guess that's where the gene pool ends.

I love big cities! Specifically, but not limited to, New York City. I love the rush of people going in all directions, I love to sit and people watch, I love having access to all kinds of entertainment, parks, museums, and arts, I love the varieties of shopping, and don't even get me started on how much I love the food- the diversity, the ability to try something new every day, and having access to any of it even at 2am sometimes. I am so cut out for city life.

I can appreciate having a garage attached to the house. That is truly heavenly. I can appreciate having a yard, even though it can be a pain. I can appreciate running into people you know at the grocery store (although I don't always love that). There are things I can truly appreciate about living in the suburbs and in a fairly small town. I grew up in just a place. It was charming and simple. There was a type of camaraderie that you can't find in a lot of places in today's world. In summary, it was a great place to grow up.

I guess the problem is that I did grow up. At some point I realized that I didn't want to marry someone that attended my high school. I didn't want my whole ward to consist of 3 blocks. I didn't want to raise my kids in a place where they had discouraged me from wanting to leave. I didn't want to have to track down open businesses on a Sunday. I didn't want everyone that I ever knew to remember me as the girl I was in high school. I no longer wanted to live in a place where I felt people had become so much alike.

The world has proved wondrous in every way and every day I only wish I have seen more. This really is a personal preference and I understand that. My sister lives the exact opposite and it has proved very beneficial for her. She married someone from our high school. She lives in the same town, etc. etc.

All I know is that it's not for me! I want to live in a place that's exciting. Somewhere where I can meet new people every day and be different without feeling out of place. A place where I can see something new every single day. We have been living in a small town (by my standards) for about 2 months and it is already beginning to feel suffocating. The biggest city is 2 hours away and it feels SO far away. I guess I was just meant for something a little more complex.