Not too long ago I went to a local theatre production with my mom. Her teenage neighbor had a part in it so we went to support her. As I watched her up on that stage acting, I so deeply admired her bravery.
I've never been one for the spotlight. I am fearfully shy for the most part and I hate feeling exposed and vulnerable. Even so, every girl dreams about what it would feel like. I never did do any kind of theatre. I didn't see it as an acceptable activity for fitting in with the "cool" kids. Being shy, fitting in is your best option- people won't pay extra attention to you, but they will accept you.
Now that I'm an adult I still have shy tendencies. I still don't want all kinds of attention, but there's not a lot of pressure to "fit in" anywhere. There are truly as many varying degrees of adult personalities as there are snowflakes, as they say. (Not to mention, if you're truly in a good marriage you should receive most of your acceptance in the world from it and nothing else matters.) I've thought about this a lot since high school. I wish I knew then what I know now and I truly wish I hadn't been worried about the things that were constantly on my mind back then. Because the truth? They don't matter one bit now.
It got me thinking about all the things I would've/should've/could've done, had I ignored my inhibitions. I think I'd have mustered up the courage to at least try things and maybe find something I truly enjoyed. It makes me admire, all the more, kids today who do the things they love because they love it. I have a brother who wouldn't know how to live any differently and I I admire him so much for it.
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